it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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