I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
