So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
