So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
