Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize