If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We are two peas in an std pod
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
