You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
