have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
