Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
