Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
