sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize