i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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