Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
