Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
