Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
