Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Boobs are out for the taking
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
COCAINE IS GR8
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
