the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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