So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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