Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
