so let's talk penis.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
