i barfeds in our rink
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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