My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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