I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Welp...herpes.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
