I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
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