what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
