you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
