im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I have fence marks all over my body
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
