You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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