i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
