If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
