@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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