Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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