Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
