Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
