ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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