The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
