I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
