Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Your penis caused this!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
