Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
