Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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