I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You can't motorboat a personality
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Randomize
