what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
