I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
