The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
