she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize