Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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