I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
