I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize