Bisexual people are plain selfish.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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