Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
