her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
