i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
