it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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