i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
