Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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